$%^£ Blogger!

Erm... it's gone buggy again. Won't let me have spaces in my writing. I hate it. Makes it look so cramped. Going to nap now. Tired and cranky. And dreaming of roast duck and siew yok rice.

Choosing a baby name

Two weeks ago, Dear Hubby brought up the subject of baby names. I've been in total despair over this matter since every name I like is a no-no for Dear Hubby. I like Aubrey from the song from Bread of the same name.

And Aubrey was her name

A not so very ordinary girl or name

But who's to blame?

For a love that wouldn't bloom

For the hearts that never played in tune

But Dear Hubby said no, it's a terribly uppity and old-fashioned name. So I sang the song to him and said, "But baby... next time when her boyfriend's courting her, he can sing this song to her!" He dismissed my female logic and waved it away. One name down.

He didn't like James either... I've always liked the name James. Not Jim. Or Jimmy. Just James. I was willing to go with Jamie but Dear Hubby said "Too common!" First, too uppity. Now too common. Sigh. This is what I call Goldilocks Syndrome. You know... too hard, too soft, too cold, too hot... in other words, a fusspot who doesn't really know what they want.

Dear Hubby thought it would be a great idea to have a Chinese name, to reflect Little Monkey's dual heritage. So last night, I called Dad up to ask him to help pick a Chinese name for the baby since I'm totally clueless about Chinese. The convie is as follows:

Me: Hello Papa. Can you please help pick a Chinese name for the baby?

Dad: You want a Chinese name? Won't it look odd? Whose surname you using?

Me: (thinking it very silly question) His surname la. He's the father, right? We put the Chinese name after the English first name and before the surname.

Dad: (thinks) Ok la... I pick the name, you put wherever you want.

Me: Ok. Just pick a few options for boy and girl names.

Dad: (suddenly panics) But will take time to pick names! Cannot just last minute! Give me at least two days!

UTTER SILENCE. I am too stunned to speak for about half a minute.

Me: (regains sanity, clears throat) It's ok, Papa. The baby is due in NOVEMBER. You can take as much time as you need.

NOW HIRING: POOL BOY REQUIRED

Lady of leisure requires pool boy to uh... service her pool. You - buff, young, tanned, non-David Hasselhoff Baywatch lookalike, able to swim and resuscitate well (very particular on last point). Me - married, with lots of girlfriends who have promised to come and visit, some of whom are single and extremely attractive.

Your duties - to service the pool and um... other needs as required such as... er... CPR lessons. Please maintain cleanliness of pool at all times, so do not pee into it. You will also be required to be on hand to help out at various BBQ poolside parties that I plan to organise for my girlfriends. You are required to look like a Greek god at all times on duty. You will not be allowed into the house at any time. If you are found snooping around, you will be severely spanked and whipped and asked to beg for forgiveness. Even more so if you accidentally discover my latex Catwoman suit. Rowr.

Speedos provided. Please reply to this post if you are interested in the job. Guys with the first name David will be given preference unless your last name happens to be Hasselhoff. I am an equal opportunity employer. Salary will commensurate with your... ahem.. experience.

We've found our house!

Yippee!!! We've found our house! My first experience house-hunting in Jakarta was quite tiring as we saw as many as 15 houses in 2 days and most of them did not suit our needs. It was either too large or too little or more frequently, something wrong with the kitchen. I don't cook very well, I'm still learning how to cook well enough to feed my husband but I do like a nice kitchen. The one house I did like was not in a gated compound and company regulations decreed that we had to live in a gated compound for security reasons. Sigh. Back to square one.

Luckily, my friend S called me and said his cousin had just moved to Jakarta and had found a lovely house in a gated compound in Kemang. I told Dear Hubby right away who contacted the agent. Unfortunately, that was the compound we'd tried to see in our first visit because we'd really liked it and were told that no houses were available. Just when I was wondering when we would ever find our house, the agent called up again and said there would be a house available in said compound but only in July. Did we want it? Did we ever!


On my most recent trip to Jakarta, Madam Top Monkey finally got to see her new home. Here we go! This is what you guys will see when you come to visit me, just drive in straight from the main entrance and make a left turn. We're in the first house on the right.

(Clockwise, L-R: Our unit, road leading into the compound, our neighbour, our unit again)

Let me show you the ground floor. First, ze kitchen... where I will be cooking for Dear Hubby. He doesn't get to eat very healthy lunches at office, so I have decided that I will make him lunch. Then, the hall. Please excuse the agent's presence in the pic. At the bottom is the entrance to the house. You can see a room just off to the side, that is a small room that can be used as a study or home office. Last pic shows the garage, known as a carpot here. The maid's quarters and storage areas are located behind the carpot and they have a completely separate entrance from the main house.

(Clockwise, L-R: Kitchen, living + dining, main door + stairs to 1st floor, garage)

The first pic on upper left is the study room. The current tenants have left it empty except for a chessboard inside. They are Japanese you see, so I think this must be their interpretation of Zen decor. Another look at the hall and then we go upstairs where there is a family hall. We're thinking of turning it into a mini gym. The last pic is the master bedroom.

(Clockwise, L-R: Study, living, family room, master bedroom)

Finally... the pool! And a rather unusual tenant! The pool is shielded from prying eyes by high walls, so those of you who visit and wish to skinny dip are able to do so. Just warn me first please. Those are the doors leading to the er.. patio.. is that what you call it? - where you can sit and sip your margeritas and watch people frolic in the pool. And guess who's sitting by the door? A lovely dog! S/he belongs to the current tenants and she was very friendly. What a smart dog. She doesn't come with the house though.

(Clockwise, L-R: Pool, hall, doggy, pool again)

So there you are. A tour of my future home and perhaps your future holiday hotel. There are three bedrooms in the house + study room, so we'll be able to accomodate at least 4-6 guests at any one time. Plus if we really need to, some people can always sleep in the family room which is large enough to sleep at least 4 on the floor.

What I like about this place is the security and that I'll be able to take walks around the compound without fear. When the little one comes along, we can both take walkies in the compound and go say hi to everyone else. I also like the pool. I'm thinking that I'll be as large as a whale further along in my pregnancy, so it will be nice to have a pool to exercise in as the water can help take some of the weight. Plus it's in Kemang which is a very lively area and it's close to the Malaysian restaurant, so if I get homesick for nasi lemak (I don't see this sold anywhere in Jakarta? Sobs!), I can just pop over and gorge myself silly.

What I don't like about the place is that to get there, you have to squeeze through a narrow-ish lane. But most houses in Jakarta are like that anyway. It always amazes me, the juxtaposition of haves and have-nots here.

And guys... the pool isn't big enough to really swim in. Dear Hubby said three strokes is all it would take for him to do a lap but then again, he is 6'2". Hehe. We 5'++ mere mortals may be able to squeeze in more strokes, I'm sure. We'll have floats and water toys, so you can just splash about and it will be a nice place to do a BBQ party in the evening.

So I hope you've liked this little cybertour and I'll be very happy to show you everything in 3D once you get here. Just let me get some furniture in first and then the Top Monkey Hotel will be open for business!

Yep, the move is on

Well, we're finally moving. Yes, really, really, really.


The packers came in today to take a look at our things so that they can estimate the time they need and how much they've got to pack. I'm so glad we're hiring these guys to pack AND unpack for us. I will go mental trying to pack Dear Hubby's collection of CDs and LPs alone.


My big red suitcase is out and I'll have to cram as many clothes as I can inside as they'll be all I have for the next two months or so. (Reminder to oneself: Take all clean knickers!) My guitar is coming along with us on the plane and some favourite CDs and books. We won't be able to move into our new house in Jakarta till July so I'll need something to amuse me till then.


I'll have to contact my banks and change my addresses and try to see my friends once more before I leave. I've always moved around anyway, there was a period of time in my life when I was moving every 6 months but it had always been around KL or within Malaysia. It will be fun to move to a new country and a new life and see what things are like.


I already miss being called "Nyonya". :))

Misc updates from Jakarta

1. Our house
Whee! We've found our house! I'll blog about it later when I've finally uploaded all the pics from my cam. It's got a pool, so everyone who's reading this and plans to visit me, please bring your bikinis/Speedos and suntan lotion!


2. Funny project name
Dear Hubby came back from work ytdy wearing a polo tee bearing his company logo and the name of some joint project they're working on with another company. After about 10 minutes, my curiousity got the better of me and I asked, "Who picked the name of the project?" He said, "I don't know. I think it's named after the place. Why?" I said, "Well, it's a very inauspicious name for a project. Didn't they tell you what Tangguh means?" "No. What does it mean?" "Er... delay, postpone..." *giggle* Maybe it has a different meaning in Indonesia. We met the project consultant later at dinner and I told him that as well and he burst into laughter.


3. Adjusting to life in Jakarta
I think I'm getting the hang of it. For instance, I no longer absent-mindedly gargle with the tap water and guess what? No tummy aches at all this visit! *touch wood* I'm starting to recognise some roads and landmarks too and have learnt new words.


4. Still happily pregnant
This is Little Monkey's 2nd trip to Jakarta. We didn't know she was present the first trip, you see. So far, she's liked the food. I've been careful with my hygiene and food. I'm absolutely dying to try some of the hawker fare I see by the roads but dare not at the moment for fear of upsetting the little one.


5. TV!!!
Omigosh, we even have LFC.tv here! I spent a happy afternoon watching things like Top 10 Scousers of the Club, Top 10 all-time goalscorers etc of my one and only football club before the storm came in and we lost the reception. Lately, I've started watching French and Italian tv. The French tv is quite fun because I can more or less guess what they're saying and if they have subtitles, I can follow the plot. But the Italian tv talks too fast for me to catch anything.

Right now, I'm waiting for Dear Hubby to come home. He puts in half a day on Saturdays as well but he'll be back in a moment and take me out to lunch. The hotel we're staying in is fine but their menu is rather limited and I've had just about enough of the hotel food for now.

Looking forward to making our move here permanent, shouldn't be long now!

Back in Jakarta!

Whee! The Top Monkey family are now reunited in our new home city of Jakarta! I'm quite pleased to be back, it's nice to be able to see Dear Hubby daily and to have someone to cuddle up to at night.

Our journey here was filled with drama. We'd spent the weekend with friends in Singapore and the journey from friends' home until we walked out into arrival hall of Soekarno-Hatta Airport here in Jakarta was just one kan-cheong episode after another.

We caught a cab to Changi and in the cab, Dear Hubby handed me his passport for safekeeping, this is the first time he'd ever done it. I duly put it away in my passport holder together with mine. When we finally arrived at Changi and the taxi had started pulling away, Dear Hubby starts feeling frantically in all his pockets and goes, "Shit, shit! Call the cab back!" Too late. As I wonder how to find the cab, Dear Hubby wails, "I can't find my passport!!!" Cue raised eyebrow from me. "You gave it to me to keep, remember?" A sheepish grin from the normally organised and calm Dear Hubby is the only reply I get.

We boarded a Singapore Airlines flight for Jakarta. Normally, service is excellent on SQ but something must have been totally screwed up because we were only served our meals half an hour before landing and everyone had to gobble their meal up. I gobbled up mine, I was starving and I'm sure my Little Monkey was absolutely starving as well, my poor baby.

Then as we were getting off the plane, Dear Hubby said, "I think I'd better check and see that my wallet is in my hand carry." He said he'd removed it from his back pocket and put it there. Checks reveal no wallet. Oops. Off he runs to our seat (which are 2nd last in the plane) while I do a re-check. Still nothing. He comes back, shaking his head. Where did his wallet go? So I checked my bag and found it inside there. Phew.

We were so late off the plane we bumped into the cleaning crews coming in with their huge plastic bags. Getting through Immigration was quite easy. We picked a trolley and then... "Where's my camera?" I paled. It had been my job to carry Dear Hubby's camera and somehow in the confusion on the plane, searching for the wallet and all, I must have left it on the plane. Dear Hubby grabs his passport from me and takes off running.

Yikes. This is Dear Hubby's precious camera. It's not your average point-and-shoot digicam. This is a semi-pro SLR model that had cost him quite a bit and I was just panicky at the thought of losing it. Ten minutes later, a slightly sweaty Dear Hubby emerges with a big grin and his camera. Many thanks to the staff at the airport, they were very calm and efficient and it was such a relief to get the camera back. I cradled it closely after that.

Then we started scanning the luggage carousel for our bag. Where was it? We noticed that most people had already gotten their luggage and had walked off but where was my bag? When the crowd dwindled to just about 5 people, Dear Hubby looked as if he could dive behind the curtains of the start of the carousel to look for my bag. Finally... it arrived... the VERY LAST bag to get off the plane. Right behind my bag was a sign that said "LAST BAG".

With a sigh of relief, we loaded it onto our trolley and went off into arrival hall. There was S, our trusty driver, waiting for us with a big smile. I heaved another huge sigh of relief when we got into the car. The drama of our flight had to be over now for sure.

So today, I'm just going to chill out in the hotel room and meditate and get my Zen-ness back. I've had enough drama to last me for the next week.

Notes from a pregnant Mrs Top Monkey

Whee! It's so wonderful being pregnant! I've come home to visit Mum and Dad for a bit before I fly off to Jakarta again and it's wonderful being treated like royalty. I've never been treated like royalty before! LOL

On the day I returned, Dad steamed up an entire golden pomfret for me to eat. I couldn't finish it of course, it's impossible to ask me to eat an entire pomfret by myself. When I humbly asked if I could have nasi lemak for breakfast (my Little Monkey has a very strong preference for spicy foods), Dad happily obliged and bought me not one, but TWO packs of nasi lemak. (Cue Steve McMahon: You bought two???)

Mum bought me soyabean milk just because I asked for it. I can't stand the taste of tea or coffee now, you see. So my beverage options are quite limited at the moment. I dare not tell them that Little Monkey's favourite beverage has been Coca-Cola and I've had to control myself the best I can because I can really glug that stuff down now. Funny... I've never been a Coke fan.

Today, we're having plain rice porridge with fried eggs, fried fish and vege for lunch. Yum, yum!!! I am rather fond of plain rice porridge, must be the Hainanese peasant in me. :)) I have fond memories of sitting in the small kitchen of the old Hainanese woman who babysat my youngest brother and tucking into plain rice porridge served with pickled lettuce, fried salted fish, fried eggs and fried ham. Simple and delicious. Take that, Nigella!

I'm not showing yet, no baby bump for strangers to pat but my friends who have met me recently all say I'm glowing. Well, when you're this happy, you will glow like a lightbulb. Trust me.

Signing off now and I probably won't be online till Monday but not before sending some babydust to my Shortcake girl... Don't misalign your hips while you're trying it! Hehe...

April 15, 1989 - RIP 96

Tomorrow is Apr 15. It is the anniversary of Hillsborough disaster for us Liverpool fans. In 1989, 96 of our fans who went to watch our team play Notts Forest in the FA Cup semi-final at Hillsborough Stadium in Sheffield never came home. They'd been crushed to death in Britain's worst-ever sporting disaster.
I won't go into detail here but if you like, you can find out for yourself what happened that day by going to the Hillsborough Justice Campaign site.

This BBC page has a video of what actually happened on that day. I can't believe the police just lined up across the field while people were shouting and pleading for help to be pulled out.

On my first trip to Anfield in Apr 2006, I finally had the chance to see the Hillsborough Memorial. It was just a week after the anniversary of the disaster and there were still many tributes from fans, our own and from other clubs, at the Memorial. What broke my heart was seeing tributes from family members to the 96 and to see more than a few share the same family name in the list of the dead. It was absolutely heart-breaking to see flowers and teddy bears bearing tributes from people who signed off as "Mum" or "Dad".
What made everything hit home was turning to look at my Liverpool-raised, Liverpool FC-mad husband (bf then) and thinking, "It could have been you at the stadium." All those names on the list - each and every one of them meant as much to someone as he meant to me.

For the 96 who never came home.... RIP and YNWA.

(Photo taken Apr 24, 2006 at Hillsborough Memorial, Anfield)

Attention, please - Important announcement from Top Monkey family

*cough* Testing... one, two, three... testing... *cough* Ahem.

We, the Top Monkey family, have an important announcement to make today. *drum roll* We are pleased and proud to announce that a little baby Top Monkey will be arriving in our family at the end of the year!
We will raise the baby as a true Kopite and I will probably sing football songs to her instead of nursery rhymes. (Ste Gerrard Gerrard... he passes it forty yards... he's big and he's fuckin' hard... Ste Gerrard, Gerrard...) I am wondering if the baby can be baptised at Anfield, Kop end will be nice. Just sprinkle a bit of hallowed turf over the baby will do and maybe put her on the penalty spot or corner flag for a bit, but don't kick her over the goal.

At this point in time, we don't know if the baby is a boy or girl yet, but we're calling the baby a "her" for simplicity's sake. I'll find out for sure once I'm 4 months along and then we'll start deciding on names and things.

So, everyone, say hello to Little Monkey and her future baby romper!

Liv 4, Ars 2 (Agg Liv 5, Ars 3)

Tralalalala... tralalalala.. tralalalala.... LIVERPOOL WIN!!!!

Yes, the Gunners came out guns blazing in the first 20min, then wilted. Was it a pen on Babel? I thought it was, the way Toure was crawling all over his back and more importantly for me, the Dutch lad didn't crumple the way Hleb did last week, arms flailing Drama Minggu Ini style and Bambi eyes on referee, pleading for a pen even as he went down. I can't stand players who do that, whether they wear Liverpool red or not. We have a term for them: D I V E R.

I have to say I like Arsenal. They play beautiful football. But sometimes they seem too intent on showing off their beautiful passing and neat triangles and forget that in the end, football is about putting the ball at the back of the net, not about showing off how much possession you had. I wish them all the best in the race for the EPL crown, I would be well pleased if they won it end of the season.

Smug personal reason for lovin' the winnin': I knew a Frenchman once who loved to blame everyone but himself and had that silly "But of course! We are ze superior French!" arrogance. Just like Arsene "Je ne see pas the handball/foul" Wenger and then blames a 4-2 loss on our luck. It just makes it all sooooooooooooooooo sweet.

Being Expat-ised 101: Social skills at expat parties

When I first started dating Dear Hubby, there wasn't much of a culture shock. After all, we two were mad Liverpool fans and therefore of one heart already, we knew exactly when we wanted to hold hands and exactly when we wanted to jump up and cheer, we loved eating dinner seated on the couch, plates on laps, eyes glued to Sportscenter on ESPN.
But when he started introducing me to his social circle, I suddenly realised that I had a whole new set of social skills to learn. All the social skills that had kept me going at mamak stall sessions suddenly didn't seem enough to survive an expat party!

So here we go, my first attempt at writing Being Expat-ised 101: Social skills at expat party (based on my own experience)

1. How do you do?
Strangely enough, I've yet to meet a Brit who says that despite what repeated viewings of My Fair Lady has taught me. I used to feel perplexed when I met new people - do I just shake hands or do I kiss them on the cheek or what? *blur* I've had embarrassing situations where people want to kiss/shake my hand and I end up trying to do the exact oppposite. Adoi.
What I've learnt is that ALWAYS LET THEM START THE GREETING. If they hold out their hand and the other arm is at their side, this means shake hands only, no kissy-kissy. If both arms come out, prepare for kissy-kissy but sometimes it doesn't happen, so don't lean your body in until they do. If kissy-kissy does happen, always wait for them to offer other cheek before attempting to mwah-mwah dahleeng! them on both sides of their faces.


2. Table manners
Numero Uno - learn how to chew with your mouth shut. It's so disgusting otherwise. Yuck.

And the cutlery. Oh god, where do I start? To this day, I can't tell the difference between a salad fork and the soup spoon. Last year in Scotland, I attended a series of company do's with Dear Hubby's Top-Top Boss. Very anxious not to make Dear Hubby look like an idiot at dinner, I'd actually checked up on cutlery and table etiquette online but of course, all of that flew out of my head once I sat down at table. As with saying hello, let others start first. If they pick up the fork on the left for the salad, do the same. So always take your time with your napkin while keeping your eyes peeled.
This backfired on me one day when EVERYONE took their time with their napkins and insisted ladies started eating first. I was like, "SHIT! Cannot la!" This is where you must trumpet your Asian superiority to cover up for your ignorance and so I picked up a random fork and said in my most charming voice, "You know... we Chinese just have one type of chopstick, none of this salad fork and butter knife thing - how on earth do you Brits keep track of it all?" And then it turned out that these Brits weren't too sure either and one of them admitted, "I just watch what others do actually." Alamak.

3. Watch your drink
If you're like me, you'll probably manage a max of 3 vodka lemonades before you get extremely sociable and happy. So be careful, watch your drink. This is not the mamak stall where 10 teh ais won't do anything except keep you awake all night. Mix your own drink if you can at parties or tell your host exactly how you like your drink. You won't remember you were being an asshole but everyone else will. Always eat some fat before you drink, it helps slow down the absorption of alcohol into your body. If you're really worried about your drink, do what I do sometimes - pop some innocent, small mints into those little meds bags you get from the docs. Once you arrive at the party, ask for a glass of water and in full view of everyone, pop your "medication". Then announce you are on painkillers/antibiotics and can't drink. Ta-dah!!!

I hope this is of some help to any aspiring SPG reading this. :)))

(For definition of SPG, go here)

Floods and hailstorms in KL

Due to personal reasons, I have decided to stay back in KL for the time being until we finally pack up end of Apr and go off to Jakarta for good. This means poor Dear Hubby will have to shuttle between the two cities for the time being. Never mind. Each time he comes home, he gets a real royal welcome and I fuss over him for days.
So this means I'll be a little short of Jakarta stories until next month. *sigh*

Anyway, KL has been hit by really bad rains these past few days. I was caught in one yesterday afternoon after having lunch with an old colleague, M. The skies opened again today and the lightning was really, really close to my apartment here. Yikes. It's 7pm now and the rain has finally stopped.

I saw this online at The Star today about floods and hailstorms in KL. While the flash floods news is nothing new to KL-ites, the bit about hailstorm was pretty intriguing. I've never had that happen to me, I've never seen hail in my life. But what was most intriguing was that a resident actually collected some of them and ate them because they're supposed to be good for health! Eh??? After it's gone through all that dust and pollution and whatever sulphuric acid in the environment, you pick it up and eat the thing???