Friday, August 15, 2008

Peace, y'all

Hi. My name's Little Monkey. I am now 27 weeks old and still living in my Pod.

My Pod's pretty cool. It's a self-contained, studio unit that comes with its own housekeeping and catering. The catering's pretty good... I get a steady stream of goodies all day long. I don't see any neighbours though. In fact, there's not much of a view but then again, I have barely opened my eyes. The Pod's on a 40-week lease. It's so comfy in here, I've been thinking about extending it but Management said no. I asked. They let you go early (with a refund) but if you try staying beyond 42 weeks here, they come and forcibly bundle you out. I think the term they use is "induce".

My Pod Person's the one who takes care of the Pod. I just live here and chill, you know? Every month, she takes me for a photo shoot. That's a real pain in the ass because I have to pose around... at 8am! Man. I'm usually snoozing at that time. Some guy will prod my Pod with a thingybob and take my measurements and then a photo. That's my latest one up there. I put up with these photo shoots because Pod Person always gives off a surge of happy hormones after each session. I heard her say that I weigh 1.2kg now and am still growing. Maybe that's why Pod Person is huffing and puffing up stairs these days... because I'm becoming heavier. Sorry!

Pod Person has a partner - Other Person. I don't hear much of Other Person except in the mornings and evenings and on weekends. He talks to me every morning before he disappears but he's not very good at it. He usually talks to the wrong end of the Pod and it takes Pod Person to guide him to the right end of the Pod where my ears are. He must be connected to me in some way because Pod Person always refers to him as "my Monkey" and I am Little Monkey.

Right now, I'm really into kickboxing. Yeah... It's a cool sport. I find the best time for practise is at three o'clock in the morning when everyone else is asleep and there's no one around to bother me. I think it bothers Pod Person from time to time but she's usually knocked out and snoring like a zombie anyway!

Well, that's about it from me for now. May post again. Peace, y'all.


  1. oh my gawd! YOU Pod Person are really FUNNY! I can't believe this; I've never read any reference to a pregnancy in this angle! I really enjoyed this post girl. Bravo bravo bravo!!! And kudos to Pod Monkey; we await your coming!

  2. Shortcake: Heh... glad you liked it. I'm sure someone somewhere has thought of this idea before, writing the experience from the baby's angle and imagining what it must be like inside there!

    I'm so excited... in my 3rd tri now and on the home run stretch! Can't wait to see our little boy too!