The idiot cook in me comes out of hiding... at last!

Well. It had to happen sooner or later.

This afternoon while Dear Hubby was busy cheering on Lewis Hamilton in the Shanghai GP, I snoozed on our lounger. I can sleep through anything and I can sleep anywhere and I'm really hoping our baby boy will have my sleeping prowess. When I woke up, I kept still for a very long time as I realised that I had a backache as well as those familiar pre-labour contractions. I've read up on signs of labour and one of them was persistent lower back pain combined with a crampy premenstrual feeling. That was precisely what I was feeling.

When I got up, Dear Hubby saw the odd look on my face and asked, "What's wrong?" I told him what I was feeling and said it was one of the signs I was supposed to look out for. I decided to try and see if I could shake off the back pain. If I couldn't, then I would start timing my contractions to see if it was the real thing. If it wasn't proper contractions, then I would just wait for the real thing to start.

Distracted by thoughts of labour, I waddled into the kitchen to start dinner. My oven is notoriously temperamental and I've learnt that it's best to start roasting my chicken by 4pm if I'm to want it nice and ready for dinner by 630pm. I always make a roast thingy on Sunday with roast potatoes, just the way Dear Hubby's English tastebuds like it. I like it too!

All my thoughts were on our baby as I started washing and rinsing out the chicken in an absent-minded way. As I tried to rinse out the cavity, I couldn't help thinking that it was REALLY difficult to get the cavity open. Maybe the chicken hadn't fully defrosted, I thought. Craps. Now I'll have to wait a bit longer before I can roast my chicken. But the rest of the chicken had fully defrosted and I just couldn't figure out why only the bum of the chicken was not.

After a while, I looked down more carefully at the chicken and thought, "Hey... how come there's this stick thing in the cavity? What an odd chicken!" I took a closer look at the chicken and for the first time since I started washing it, I focused on the chicken instead of on our soon-to-be-born son and I suddenly realised what I'd been doing.

I'd been holding the chicken.... upside down. No wonder the "bum" was so tight and I couldn't get my fingers in. I'd been trying to poke my fingers down a little space between the chicken's neck (the stick thing) and breast.

I *am* a complete loon. Sigh. I can't wait for the baby to be born and for me to get my brains back.