Connor is extremely fussy about toilets. He only likes two toilets - the one in his bathroom and ours. The other toilets in the whole wide world, he uses them grudgingly and with much protest.
When we were out shopping at Pavilion one day, I noticed the holy trinity of pee-pee signs. He had a pinched expression, he was clutching his wee-wee and his knees were squeezed together. Uh-oh.
"Connor, do you want to pee-pee?"
"Why are you holding your penis then?"
"Are you sure you don't want to pee-pee?"
"Well, you're going to pee-pee anyway."
I dragged him to the loo and it wasn't just any loo, it was the Pavilion VIP loo. It happened to be the closest loo and I had no time to run to another one. Connor protested all the way. "No, I don't want, Mummy! I don't want pee-pee! I don't like! I don't like pee-pee! I don't want toilet! I don't like! I don't like toilet!"
I dragged him into the cubicle (wah, so posh!), my son still protesting and pulled his pants and undies down. The moment I did that, a stream of pee arced from his wee-wee into the toilet bowl. The splash stopped Connor in his tracks and he was silent for just one second before he blurted out in genuine surprise, "Jesus! Connor pee-pee! Oh my god!"
You'd think a kid who needed speech therapy wouldn't be able to swear so well.