This is what little brothers are for

It's lovely having a little brother who you can make fun of.

It's fun to be the big, powerful older brother blowing into your little brother's face making him gasp and giggle.

It's great having a little person adore your every move and think you're the greatest big brother EVER.

Here's to little brothers everywhere.

Me and my babies, Feb 2014

Me and my babies, Feb 2014

My beautiful babies.

Mummy looking worse for the wear after many sleep-interrupted nights.  Anders was teething then and waking up quite often at night.

This pic was shot not long after we woke up on a lazy Sunday morning and we're all in our jammies still. There's Connor looking more and more like me... but a much more beautiful version of me.  And our little Anders who looks more like Dear Hubby... with a touch of me in him.

I love the pic.  

Life in the UK: A year on

About a year ago, I said goodbye to my homeland and hopped onto a plane to this island nation.  I'd moved from our life in a big, bustling city to a quiet little rural village.  Dear Hubby and I agreed we would try it for a year at least and then evaluate it.

Well, so far I like it.  And I'm really surprised that I do.

We met 8 years ago.  If he'd told me then that I would one day live in a rural village, I would have run away as fast as I could.  My life was different then.  It revolved around long hours in an office, weekends out on town, shopping, enjoying the urban sights.

Now my life revolves around my family.  With two little ones, my priorities are a safe place in which to bring them up, preferably near a good school.  Living near a big shopping mall and chic eateries has moved to the bottom of my list.

I think about our life in KL sometimes.  Yep we had a nice big home and all the hired help I wanted.  If I had really wanted it, we could have had an army of maids doing all the cleaning and cooking while I led a socialite's life but er... that's really not me, I'm useless at making small talk and sipping wine for too long.  We enjoyed the benefits of Dear Hubby's expat package so life was quite comfortable.  Food was delicious and cheap.

Here, our home is smaller.  Hired help is out of the question as it's so expensive so I have to manage the kids and the house all by myself.  (Do you know that you can't hear the baby screaming his lungs out if you have the vacuum cleaner on?  No, nor did I till we moved here.)  Dear Hubby no longer has his expat benefits.   The cost of living is much, much higher.  We no longer have social nights out and I've long since traded in my heels and cocktail dresses for a sturdy pair of hiking boots and waterproof jacket.  Unlike the EU migrants demonised by the likes of Daily Mail, I do not qualify for any sort of benefit handed out by the state so I'm not here to bleed the state dry.  I actually pay for everything I need.

But here, our village is a safe quiet place.  The local school is very good.  We walk to school, it takes us all of 15 minutes (10 minutes if we hurry) to get there.  Connor's friends all live in the village and we walk to each other's houses for playdates.  I've forgotten what it's like to have road rage and be stuck for hours in a traffic jam.  I think there are more cows and sheep here than there are people and I can hear the cows in the fields behind our house sometimes.  I can smell them too!

I am happy here.

I don't know why I should be when we have less money and more housework!

But when I see my Connor crunching happily in the autumn leaves on the walk to school,  when I wake up in the morning and it's birdsong, not cars honking angrily that greet me, when we pass strangers in the village and everyone smiles and greets you... then I wonder if I really want to go back to KL.  

If we really had to go back to KL, I would not be unwilling to go.  It is home after all, my friends and family are there and good grief, do I ever miss the food!  But I dread going back to the traffic, the stress, the pollution.

If we had to stay here in the UK, in our little corner of Scotland?  Well, there would be very few complaints from me.

We'll see.  For all you know, we might end up in... Siberia!  Hahahahahahahaaa.......

Mummyhood: Part II

This was my reaction when Connor fell off the bed when he was approximately 6 months old. "OH MY GOD!  My baby!  We have to get to the hospital NOW! (It was about 10pm)  I want an MRI!  X-ray! CAT scan!  Blood test! All of it!  NOW!"

Fast forward some five years later... This was my reaction when Anders slipped off Dear Hubby's lap last week and tumbled onto our carpeted floor.  "Hmm.  He's stopped crying.  Check his eyes and head... is he all right?  He's not wincing right?  Okay... so er, what do you want for lunch, Daddy?"

Motherhood this time is quite different from when I had my first child.  It's not that I loved Connor more.  It's that I know more.  I know now what works and that some things are really beyond my control.

There are many things to stress yourself over when you have a part of you walking around outside of you.  When they're little, you stress about routines, milestones, vaccinations.  When they get a little older, you fret about language skills, writing, making friends, the right preschool.  And when they're older still, you worry about them getting into Uni, finding a good job, someone to love them.

There are lots and lots of stuff to fret about.  I'm just getting smarter about picking stuff to fret about.

Here's to many more years of fretting.

Our first Christmas in Scotland, Dec 2013

Christmas 2013 marked our first Christmas in our home in Scotland.  This is the third Christmas we've spent in the UK so far and yet again, my hopes for a white Christmas were dashed.  At least it was cold.  Last year's Christmas in Liverpool was spent in almost tropical 16C weather.   I was completely pissed because if I'd wanted a warm Christmas, I would have stayed in KL and not bothered to fork out money to fly here.

We had Nana, Grandad and Uncle Mark drive up from Liverpool to spend Christmas with us.  It made the house very noisy but I thought it was much better that way.  Who wants a quiet, dull house during Christmas anyway!

A big pile of presents awaited our boys under the tree on Christmas Day.  We didn't go mad as Connor had just had his birthday in Nov and Anders is really too young to appreciate anything.

This is Connor opening the little present that Anders got him.  Well... Mummy had a hand in it but I thought it would be nice for him to get one from his baby brother as Connor's life has been turned upside down by the arrival of a younger sibling.

Connor's main present from Santa Claus.  What is it?

Santa brought him a... Lego Chinook!  Our boy was so thrilled.  He didn't put it together though.  It was his Uncle Mark who patiently built it after breakfast for him.

And here is little Anders opening his present!  I bought him that little Santa suit because I couldn't resist it.  We never bought one for Connor as all the ones on sale in Jakarta/KL were so thick my heat-sensitive son would have melted in it.  

When my husband first found out I'd spent money on clothing that he would only wear for a day, he grumbled.  But when I dressed Anders in it and our little baby boy beamed up at Daddy, Dear Hubby changed his mind very quickly.  "Oh.  He does look cute.  Very cute."

Heh.  Mummy knows.

Here is Anders chewing on one of his presents - a baby kilt.  Mummy had searched and searched and searched for one.  Do you have any idea how expensive kilts are?  I would have had to take out a mortgage to pay for one.  So I was very happy when a mum on a local forum was selling this one, she's bought two and was selling the spare one.

As Anders was born here in Scotland, I wanted very much for him to have a keepsake of his place of birth.  So... kilt or shortbread?  Kilt it was.

So there you have it.  We hope you've had a wonderful Christmas just like we did.

My two beautiful boys

Connor and Anders, 31 Oct 2013

It was about 5pm in the evening.  We had walked home from school and Connor is allowed a little telly after school sometimes.  So here they are, sitting together watching a little Disney Jr.  Anders has no idea what tv is all about and usually loses interest in it after 5 minutes or so.  Mummy had to work quick to grab this photo of her two babies.

Mummy loves you!

Hellooooo... is it me you're looking for?

Boy.

And I thought I was busy when I had one child to look after.   I have since discovered how wrong I was.  Having two children doesn't mean my workload is doubled.  It's like... erm.... trillion-pled!

What do I do?

My day begins at 6:30am or so when we all wake up.  No need for alarm clocks, our 5yo and 5 month old are far more reliable.  It doesn't matter if it's a weekday or a weekend, summer or winter... they always wake up at that time.  Sigh.

On weekdays, I'm busy organising Connor for school.  That means getting his breakfast ready, then getting him showered, dressed and making sure he has everything he needs for school.  At the same time, I need to give Anders a nappy change and a quick feed.

We walk to school, come rain or shine.  It's only 10 minutes away and it's good exercise.  When school started in Aug, the weather was good and so we didn't need much time to get ready as all we needed most days was a light jacket.  Now that winter is approaching, getting out of the front door is a complete nightmare.  Mummy's got to make sure everyone's put on their coats and boots and mittens and scarves and gloves before seeing to herself.   Ever tried putting on a pair of tiny mittens on the tiny hands of a 5 month old baby who's furious he's not allowed to wave his hands about?  Yep.

After I've waved goodbye to Connor at school and walked home, it's time to see to Anders.  He needs a feed and a play.  I also have to clear the breakfast dishes and put the washing on.  When Anders finally goes down for his mid-morning nap, I have just about enough time to whip up a simple lunch for me and eat it.   Then I clear everything away - sweeping, dusting, wiping down counters etc.

There's always stuff to do - clothes to be folded and put away, bathrooms that need scrubbing, carpets that need vacuuming, floors to sweep, school uniforms to be ironed... and let's not forget the stuff I need to defrost for tonight's dinner!

By 2:50pm, I have to get ready to pick Connor up from school.  One more round of putting on coats, hats etc.  We usually take our time walking home from school so by the time we arrive home, it's close to 4pm.  I make Connor an after school snack, supervise homework, talk about his school day and then take Anders upstairs for his evening nap.

Once he knocks out, I run downstairs to make dinner.  Sometimes I'm better organised and have cooked it a little earlier or have prepped it earlier.  Anders usually wakes up just as I'm finishing up and then Daddy comes home from work.

Dinner for everyone (milk for Anders!) and then it's night-night time for Anders.  Dear Hubby usually helps to clear the dinner things away and takes Connor to bed.  Most nights both boys are asleep by 8pm and I get to actually talk to my husband for a bit and we watch a little tv together.

Some coffee and a biscuit-y treat later, it's time for me to wash and sterilise some bottles, boil some water and prepare some formula for the night feeds.  Is it any wonder I'm pooped by 9pm?  Anders wakes up about twice every night but I do get a decent bit of sleep in between.

The next thing you know,  it's 6:30am again and Connor has pitter-pattered into our room and is shaking us awake.

Time to get up, Mummy!

Typical Asian tourist holiday shot

Mum and a very reluctant Connor at our local Tesco

Why, why, why.

I dunno.

But my mum and dad loved, loved, loved our local Tesco because it was full of strange and exciting foods they'd never seen before in our little hometown in Malaysia.

Like scotch eggs.

So INSISTED on taking the shot.  

Hmmm....

You know you've made it when...

.....your English mother-in-law praises your first try at making a thyme and garlic flavoured chicken and vegetable pie.

....your parents praise your siew yoke as more delicious than the ones you buy from a hawker stall.

*syiok sendiri mode ON*

I've found a babysitter!

Anders, 6 weeks old and Connor.  July 2013

Anders was crying when I left him to wash my hands after changing his diaper.

When I came back, his older brother had climbed up on our bed to play with him and Anders was gurgling happily at him and smiling away.

I think I've just found my babysitter.

Goodbye Por-por and Gong-gong

23 July 2013

Thank you for coming to see us.  

Hope to see you again next year in Malaysia.

Someone loves me

Anders with Por-por, July 2013

Scenes from a Married Life: Genetics Part II

Remember when I said Dear Hubby told me he would ask Very Serious Questions if our second son was born blond and blue-eyed as he is neither?

Anders was born via c-section.  I'll never forget the relief I felt when I heard his first cry.  I'll never forget the look on my husband's face and the tears in his eyes as he watched the doctor lift our son up for us to see.

But most of all, I'll never forget when Dear Hubby finally got to hold our son in his arms for the first time and gazed down at him.

"Mummy."

"Yes, Daddy?"

"Our son."

"Yes...?"

"He's got blue eyes."

There was a short pause in the operating theatre.  Then..

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Both of us just burst out laughing much to the surprise of the entire surgical team.

Anders was born with inky blue eyes.  They've changed colour now to... I don't know what colour exactly.  His eyes are a much lighter brown than Connor's and can sometimes look green in certain lighting and they still have a blue sheen to them.  I guess that's hazel eyes?  Just like Dear Hubby's.

As for the blond hair?  Well.... do blond eyelashes count?

Teehee.

And oh, I didn't get asked any Very Serious Questions despite the blue eyes at birth.  Why?  Because Anders is the spitting image of Dear Hubby as a baby.

P H E W.

Guess who's here?

It's POR-POR and GONG-GONG!

Yes!  My parents arrived on Monday last week on their first ever trip to the UK.  They flew in on KLM as KLM comes directly into Aberdeen airport which is about half an hour away from us.  I decided against flying them via Heathrow as it's just a circus if you land at the wrong time.

Dear Hubby had driven off to the airport with Connor to pick them up while I waited at home with Anders.  They took so long I thought something must have happened.  And I was right!  Customs had singled them out and made them unpack every single thing.  Mum had packed some bak changs  for me to eat and some bloody Customs officer confiscated them.  ALL eight of them!  I was almost in tears at the thought of my mum's lovely delicious bak changs  in the hands of some gwailo Customs officer who wouldn't appreciate them.  Hmph.  I hope you rot in hell.  Hmph again.

When they finally reached home, Mum was first through the door.  Beaming, she gave me a big hug and then immediately asked to hold Anders.  Dad was next, tired but happy.  Dear Hubby and I smiled at each other watching them coo happily over their newest grandson.

Mum has been a big help ever since they arrived, helping out with the housework and Connor while I focused on Anders for a bit.  She's also been cooking some of my old favourites while she's here and it's great!

Right now, they're away in London for a few days.  My brothers volunteered to pay for a trip to London for our parents as they said it would be such a shame to come here and not go to London.

A few days ago when I was driving Mum around the beautiful Scottish countryside, she said to me that she couldn't believe she was here.  She said, "We never dreamed we would ever come to UK... never even DARED to dream it."

Nice to know that sometimes dreams DO come true.

My beautiful sons

Connor aged 4.5yo with Anders, 2 weeks old

Connor had just returned home from Nursery and asked to hold his baby brother.  And of course baby brother chose that moment to start bawling really, really LOUDLY.

Connor is delighted to have a little brother as you may have guessed from his big smile.  He's been a really good big brother, cooing to him and telling him, "Anders, don't cry... don't cry..." every time the wee one chooses to yowl.  And most of all, he has been very patient and understanding when I can't attend to his needs immediately as I used to before Anders arrived.  It has made my life so much easier as I'm still struggling to establish any sort of routine.

I love you both, my beautiful sons.

On my first day home with Daddy, Mummy and big brother Connor

Anders, 4 days old

Wearing the same Liverpool FC romper that Connor wore home from hospital in Jakarta.  Naturally I picked this romper for Anders' homecoming.  Those rompers cost an absolute fortune but I just HAD to have them.  It's like their baptism clothing.

Here he is asleep and cosy on Daddy's chest as we all relaxed together as a family for the first time in our home. 

Scenes from a Married Life: My cooking

When I first met Dear Hubby 7 1/2 years ago,  I couldn't cook.  He managed to teach me how to cook simple meals before we got married two years later... what an achievement!  I've managed to turn myself into a half-decent cook since... with many culinary disasters along the way....

Last weekend, I made him some siew yoke.  What is a siew yoke?  It's Chinese roasted belly pork.  So simple but oh so delicious.  You can google the web for various recipes but it's mainly just pork belly with salt and Chinese five spice powder rubbed on.  Then it gets roasted to crispy perfection.  Yummy.

Dear Hubby adores siew yoke.  So I make some every now and then for a treat.  Then we fight each other to the death for it.

Last week, I made him some as a surprise treat.  He hadn't had any for quite a while and I knew he would enjoy it.

And my efforts were well rewarded because after eating one entire slab of meat all by himself ("What, SHARE with you, wife???"), he sighed happily and said, "That is the BEST pork I have ever tasted in my whole life.  E-ver."

That was a compliment of the highest order from my husband because that actually meant my siew yoke had shoved his beloved bacon into 2nd place and I felt so happy and proud of myself.

Not bad eh!

It's all in the genes

Despite my son's lovely si man looks, this picture proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that he is descended from simple peasant Cina Pek people.

You know what they say - you can take the boy out of the kampung but you can't take the kampung out of the boy!

Connor perched on a bar stool in our kitchen this morning as he's having his breakfast

Moving to the UK: My passport woes

After my terrible experience with the Pearson Academic English test, it's a miracle how I ever managed to get to the UK.

After I cleared the English test, Dear Hubby and I were overjoyed when we received an email from the UK visa processing office in Manila stating that my visa had been approved.   We had been in limbo for almost 3 weeks, wondering when the whole visa circus would come to an end.  It wasn't really the waiting that was depressing.  It was that we didn't know how long we had to wait that was utterly depressing.  Plus the fact that Connor and I were living out of suitcases and our lives had been totally disrupted.  To make it worse, Christmas was coming and Dear Hubby was depressed at having to spend it alone in the UK without his little boy.   And er... me as well... but more of Connor...

But now it looked like we could be spending Christmas together as a family.  Hurray!

So you can imagine our despair when the very next day, Manila sent another email informing me that they couldn't issue me the visa as I hadn't sent them back my passports after borrowing them to sit for the PTE test.

What???  Of course I had!  I'd sent them back last week to the KL agents for them to forward on to Manila!   Boo!

Cue another round of emails, phone calls, faxes and a mad rush of a trip from my hometown to KL once again.

And then the next day - joy!  Manila confirmed my passports had arrived and that the visa had been issued.  Now to send them back to KL.  Hurray!

Two days later, still no sight of passports in KL.  Boo!   We were watching flights to UK filling up rapidly as we prayed for the passports to arrive.  I'd called the KL agents to check on my passports and received the standard "Ma'am, we will call you when your passports are ready okay."  Yeah right, I thought.  Since when has ANY customer service in Malaysia ever got that bit right.  You think I was born yesterday izzit?

But guess what?

They DID call.

"Mrs Top Monkey (no, they used my real name!), your passports are ready for collection tomorrow."

HURRAY!!!!!

I shouted down the phone line to Dear Hubby right after that.  "BOOK OUR FLIGHTS!  WE'RE COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!"

Two days later, my parents, uncle, aunt and cousin waved goodbye to us at KLIA.  My son, blissfully unaware that our tickets to the UK were one-way and not return as usual, shouted down the whole of KLIA as we walked off, "Por-por, I love you!  Bye!  See you soon!  Gong-gong, I love you!"

Some 18 hours later, we were hugging Dear Hubby in the arrival hall at Manchester airport.

It was cold, the skies were grey, the trees were all botak  and gloomy looking but it was the most wonderful Christmas we'd ever had together.


 

President Obama and his mysterious effect on pregnancies

You know... I spent my last night as a non-mommy watching Obama win his first election in Nov 2008, watching the celebrations on telly in my hospital suite in Jakarta.  I was so happy to see his win, so happy to celebrate the first US president from a minority.  The next day, our son was born.

Last year, we followed Obama's re-election campaign with great interest as well.  As most of the world celebrated his re-election with relief, Dear Hubby and I found ourselves in a very familiar situation as we stared at the positive result on the pregnancy test I'd just taken.

Hmmm.

All I can say is - what a good thing this is Obama's last term!  We can't afford any more kids!