Life in the UK: On television

Do you know that you still have to pay for a tv license in the UK?  If you don't, the authorities will send you a very nice letter warning you that they will come and inspect your premises.   I happen to know this because we received one.   It was actually for the previous owner who had vacated the house months ago and had probably let his license lapse.  But it was enough to send me and Dear Hubby scurrying off to apply for our own TV license.  A tv license costs £145.50 for a colour tv and £49 for a b&w tv.  Do we still have b&w???

If you're wondering why UK households have to pay a TV license fee, click here to see how your money is being spent.  It's actually part of the BBC's income.   They use it to fund the various shows on free tv and radio.

As for the programmes... well, we had only terrestrial stations for the first two months I was here in the UK.  We were in rented accommodation and the place didn't subscribe to Sky TV which is the Astro of UK.

What were the free programmes like?

It seemed to me free tv is filled with comedy shows or at least shows where people try to be funny.  These people are usually middle-aged men who are stand-up comedians and they sit around in groups of four and pass around funny comments about everything and anything under the sun.

It was either that or Top Gear or re-runs of Star Trek: Voyager.   There is also those weird antique programmes where people bring stuff from their attics to antique experts for evaluation.  That's actually quite interesting because every now and then, some clueless chap will find out that the teacup Aunt Greta left him is actually very rare and used to belong to Napoleon and will fetch gazillion pounds at current market prices.

And then there is of course Dr Who.  For those not in the know, Dr Who is a long-running British sci-fi show.  It's like the UK sci-fi equivalent of Neighbours... just bloody goes on and on.  I don't get the British fascination with it or how anyone can be terrified of a Dalek, a baddie that looks like a postbox on steroids.  But try telling that to a nation that actually devotes column inches in the serious mainstream papers to discuss who will be the next Doctor.

Most British programmes are quirky and clearly written by people who love wordplay.  That's great because it sure takes something to distract from all the erm... not-so-pretty people on telly.  Raised on a diet of US programmes,  I'm accustomed to beautiful people on my small screen.   Beverly Hills 90210?  Everyone was gorgeous.  Friends?  Even the guy in the coffee place was kinda cute.  The new Hawaii 5-0?   Phwoar.    Battlestar Galactica (the new series)?  My husband cannot stop thinking about the hot Korean chick who played the Cylon while I had a thing for her tv hubby.

But in Britain!  What's with all these ugly mugs on my small screen?  It looks terrible on a 42" screen and EVEN worse when in HD!   Takes a bit getting used to.  Just try watching Eastenders vs Glee... and you'll soon see which one is easier on your eyes.

However, I quickly realised that British tv is (usually) more intelligent that its US counterpart and those ugly mugs were pretty good at their job.  When we were here last summer for a holiday, we watched a TV show starring Kenneth Branagh that was an adaptation of a hit Danish tv series.  Riveting to say the least.  And if you've ever had the misfortune to not catch Cracker, starring a pre-Hogwarts Robbie Coltrane, you don't know what you're missing.  Excellent, excellent TV series.

Do I miss TV in Malaysia?  Not really as I usually watched Astro for just sports and news.  Anything I could watch on Astro is available here on Sky so there's not much of an adjustment.  It's just that quirky made in Britain programmes which fascinate me because it's something new to me.  The Brits do that really well.  It's when they go Hollywood and do reality tv and weird talent shows that it all falls apart.

And after just 2++ months in the country, I can tell you right now that Stephen Fry is far superior to Raja Lawak.

And the Oscar goes to...

... COLIN FIRTH!!!!!!!!

I heart you, I heart you! Like millions of women with taste around the world, I fell in love with Colin Firth from his days as Mr Darcy. Fuhlamak.... I can die just thinking about him in that role. I remember this website that had a clip of him saying his name and I would play it over and over again and sigh longingly.

I was so pleased he bagged the Oscar (and a host of other awards) for his lead role in The King's Speech. He looks like such a lovely man, doesn't he? Thoroughly deserved it too.

Oh Colin... you'll always be Firth on my lith!

Am I wrong to think Jeremy Roloff is HOT?

Especially since I'm approaching 40 and he's uh... 20? He's the son of Matt and Amy Roloff, their family is featured in the reality show "Little People, Big World". It's a show I watch from time to time. I'm not crazy about it but I do admire them for their guts and determination.

Why do I think he's hot? Go Google "Jeremy Roloff shirtless" and see why. *drools* Oh and he wears a Liverpool jersey in some episodes. Yummmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy... look at those abs!


I feel dirty just typing out. *slaps own forehead*

Connor's First Audition

Dear Hubby sent out Connor's CNY shots to his pals and they all commented on how cute Connor looked. Since we'd gotten so many compliments, I took a chance and sent in the very same shots to a talent agency. To my surprise, we got a call the very next day asking us to come in for a casting shot.

So yesterday, I showered my little boy, dressed him in what I thought was his cutest everyday clothes and drove off to the studio for Our Very First Audition. This is the first time I've been on this side of the casting table. Normally I'm on the other side, watching talents walk in and deciding who would be the face of my brand.

How did we do?

FAIL!!! With a capital F. LOL That's what I feel. Hahaha!!!

They were looking for an active kid and my normally walkabout-touch a lot-crash everything son decided he would be Good-Good Boy at the casting. Sure he smiled and waved to everyone and was at his most charming self but they were really looking for a kid who would be all over the place. (I think laa...)

They all thought he was "....so cute!" but from my own experience, I know looks aren't everything when you're casting. I thought it would be a fun thing to do seeing as I'm not working and Connor isn't signed up for any classes so we have time for this ad thing. Connor enjoys the notion of going out anywhere and I'm enjoying having conversation with another adult for a change.

It was a good experience though and if we ever do get called back for another ad, I'll know what to do next time.

Hey. I bet even Laurence Olivier failed his first audition.

I'm finally back online!!!

Whee! I've finally got Net access in the house! The compound we live in is wired for First Media which is a cable tv-cum-net provider, so we picked that. We've got something like 60+ channels on their cable tv package and some of the channels are really weird.

Tell you... took us a week to get this Net working. *sigh* Our cable tv has been up and running since last week during Visit 1 of the Clown Technicians. They told me then that something was wrong with my net registration and promptly disappeared with the modem, promising to return another day. Later, I got a call from their office asking for the modem serial number. I said I didn't have it as they'd taken it with them. The office was surprised as apparently, Clown Technicians were supposed to wait for further orders from office instead of taking off. And I'm supposed to know that???

Another group of Clown Technicians turned up 2 days later and the first thing they did was to ask me for power cables. I showed them what I had and they looked sadly at it. "Not long enough, ma'am. Got longer one?" I got pissed, "NO. Why don't you have any cables? You're the technician, not me. Why would I keep cables around for technicians???" I wasn't feeling too confident at this moment and my fears were realised when they came to me after about 1hr of fiddling with my PC and the transmission pole and said things weren't working. Again. Need to take modem back, ma'am. Need to check with office.

By this time, I was getting seriously annoyed. When phone calls to the South Jakarta rep went ignored, I blew my top. Imagine my fury when Dear Hubby's PA told me that he called her and said he was "too ashamed" to pick up my call as he couldn't promise me when things could be ready. Said PA was furious and had some rather choice words for him... good thing too because my command of Indon does not extend to nasty words.

I guess it worked because they turned up today right on time as promised and this pair of technicians they sent could actually get things up and running. So far, so good... everything's running pretty quickly.

What I learnt from this experience:
1. It's very hard to get things done quickly here. We moved into this house in early Aug and I'd been running around in circles trying to get Net set up. Today is Sept 19, so it took me 1 1/2 months to get this done.
2. Try and get a local to help you. Even though I speak Malay, I still faced a language barrier. Besides, I don't know how to scold effectively in Malay. :))
3. Keep calling and chasing them. Do not believe them when they say that they will get back to you because they won't. Be persistent and be nasty if you have to.

If you're interested in their services, check out www.firstmedia.com for details.

Hilarious Jakarta show - Bule Gila!

I just happened to flip to Antv station tonight at 7pm Jakarta time and they were showing this local show called Bule Gila. The language went a bit too quickly for me to catch everything but basically, what they do is take two bules (ie gwailo to you and me in Malaysia) and make them do local stuff.

This episode has Ron from Australia competing with John from Scotland to be the Bule Gila on the show. First up - the traffic policemen test! When I saw traffic policemen, I don't mean the official police guys in their uniforms. You see, in some parts of Jakarta, the roads wind in and out of local settlements where there's barely enough room for two vehicles to pass by and there are plenty of blind corners. So the local lads who live there come out to play traffic policemen and for their efforts, you drop money into the little bucket they hold out to you. I've watched our driver pay Rp500 or Rp1,000 to these guys and it's money well worth it.

It was simply hilarious to see the two bules put on shorts, faded tees, sling a Good Morning towel across their shoulders and go to work. They were competing to see who could get the most fares and the most ciggies. I think they stopped traffic more than they helped to move it along because the locals were all slowing down to stare at the sight of a bule directing traffic in their own backyard. LOL John the Scot appeared to be enjoying it, hamming it up and blowing his whistle merrily. The drivers he encountered must have enjoyed it too because he managed to rack up quite a sum in his cup.

The next challenge was to be a mi bakso hawker. I think mi bakso is meatball noodles. If I'm wrong, I hope any Indons reading this post will correct me. So first, they get this local hawker called Pak Bejo to teach them the ropes. The two guys learn how to manage the pushcart, how to use their utensils to clang onto the pushcart to create attention and how to prepare mi bakso.

Then off they go their separate ways to see who can make the most money. John again proved tops in this challenge. I suppose if you are a local and you hear a Scottish-accented voice shout out, "BULE MI BAKSO!!! BULE MI BAKSO!!!", you too would come running out of your house to check it out. Like all the ibu-ibu who came running out of their houses, I thought it was simply hilarious to see a white man pushing a mi bakso cart around, trying to drum up business.
The funniest part was when they interviewed the customers of the two guys and some of them wrinkled up their noses and said their mi was not salty enough and not spicy enough.

The winner gets a Bule Gila trophy, I think. The show tickled me so much I'm wondering if I could enter my own bule husband into the show. Imagine how funny it would be if we had a Bule Gila trophy to show off in our home!

TV in Jakarta

You know what's fooking awesome about this hotel I'm in? Other than the free 24hr broadband of course.
It's the sports channels!!! We have 8 different sports channels here! Fooking awesome, like!!! I don't know if this applies to all of Jakarta though. Last night, we had the option of watching Man U play Lyon (Er no.. I don't think so), NBA, cricket and rugby.

This hotel has about 80 channels. We get the usual channels from Astro as well as selected channels from S. Africa, India, Germany, Italy and Spain. We also get the local Indon channels.

For fans of Fast Show, you may remember the weather report on their foreign news sketch (Boutrous Boutrous-Ghali!) where the weather was always sunny and hot for the entire country. Remember the map with all the suns plastered across the country? Well, we happened to tune in to the Spanish news channel one night and it was the weather report. And guess what? The map was plastered with suns and Dear Hubby and I immediately shouted, "SCORCHIO!!!" Pissed ourselves laughing, we did.

I'll get me coat.